Google Chrome may be the best thing that's ever happened to me:

It's a bold title, I know. Even the length of the title is daunting at first glance. It offers some weight to the following post, it says "this is what I'm going to talk about, and it's very important."

Google Chrome? Life changing? The statment is also bold. But never have I been so behind a product as this. Those of you who know me, know that I have been a fan of Google for a while now. You may have heard me talk about how my brother Geoff lived on the same floor with Larry Page (yes, he was really born in Lansing) at UofM their freshman year. So that's my little connection, it's not a big one, but it was enough to make me prefer Google's search engine over Looksmart's. If you're not familiar with looksmart.com, it's an old search engine, so that tells you how long ago I've been using the internet (man, that make's me feel old for some reason). The company that you'll find on that site has come a long way since it's beginnings as an internet search engine.

Either way, that's not the point here. The point is, I like Google a lot, and I've been liking it for a long time here. I hope you can see that I'm starting to build a defense for my bold title. I was happy with just the Google website, you know, just the search. I liked that it found me a lot of relevant results, what I was looking for, and was easy to use. In fact, now that I think of it, I remember looking for Pokemon games I could download to floppy disks rather than going to a store and buying them. And yeah, I've been a nerd for a long itme too. And I liked that if the Google search just wasn't cutting it, I could always go to an advanced search, which is extremely helpful if you know what you're doing. By the way, do any of you ever use the I'm Feeling Lucky button on Google? Hmm, I never do, I guess I'm never that confident. I mean, if I'm using a search engine, and I'm that confident in what I'm looking for that I hit the I'm Feeling Lucky button, then why am I using a search engine? I mean, it seems like I know what I'm looking for, so I don't need to search. I don't know, maybe I should use that button more. After all, Google did send me a t-shirt after Austin Ellsworth emailed Google and asked if he could have any free things. It's a fun hobby to begin with, you look around the internet, find any company you want, email them and just ask. Most don't respond, a lot just say no, but some actually say "sure, why not". Heinz sent me a like 4 little pins that you can put on sweaters or something, and like 2 pens. It was cool. But Austin hit the jackpot, Google sent him a T-shirt and some cool pens and a note, right to his house (within a week!). So I was like nuh-uh, and I emailed them too. They sent me the same shirt and the same pens and a hand-written note that said "Hey Alex, We're glad you like Google so much. Tell your friend Austin we said 'Hi.'" It was crazy.

[[Random Cool Link]] A cool think about Google is they make caches of the internet, and they save them. You can actually search a cached copy of the internet in 2001, it's amazing how much Wikipedia has changed, huh? Facebook is old too!

Anyways, then Google came out with email (they came out with a lot of other shit too, but Gmail was the next big seller of Google for me). I had been using Hotmail, under some stupid name for a long time and I was ready to grow up, right when Gmail hit beta. You need an invite to get in, and fortunately I got one, because it was a lot harder to get one back then. It had everything I liked in an email service, it held a lot of emails, and it was free.

After using Gmail a while, along with other a host of other Gmail products like Google Maps, Google Earth (who hasn't used that!?), Google SketchUp, and...Blogger, I was thinking how awesome it would be for Google to come out with a browser. Lo and behold, Google did exactly this, and a lot soon than I expected. They released Google Lynx, faster, better cleaner than the rest. Unfortunately it was an April Fools joke. But oh well, they came out with Chrome not much later.

So giving me a browser when that's what I wanted was enough to make it a life changing event? Of course not. Google Chrome, like Gmail, had all the features I liked in my browser (Firefox at the time), it was simpler, better and, as we've come to expect: free. Some of the differences between Chrome and Firefox are simple, some of the differences are drastic, and everything, in my opinion, is easier on Chrome. "Everything?" you may ask. Everything. Otherwise it wouldn't be the best thing that's happened to me. The first time I excitedly opened it I said "Oh no..." it was so empty. I thought, "Where's all the stuff I need?" But, as is common with new browser releases, the first page that opens after installation is a sort of help page, or 'here's what's going on with this browser.' I read through that, as you might expect me to by this point in my dedication to Google. And as I used the interesting features that I read about, I realized all that shit I thought I needed, I never used anyways. So far, I've never had to look for something in Chrome that I needed, and not been able to find it. I could spend a long time listing all the shit I like about it, but you could look it up yourself, and I imagine that if you're still reading by now, you're wondering when I'm going to wrap this thing up. Now.

Fuck Philosophy

Ok, so I'm a senior now, and I needed two cognate departments so I could graduate; one of them has to be outside of the College of Arts and Letters, the other may be within my college. Ideally I would have taken something like computer science and engineering and statistics, but the problem is that I neede 12 credits from each of them in one school year (2 semesters) and the way their classes are set up, I wouldn't have been able to fulfill those requirements (what with prerequisites etc.). So, I was stuck with taking Anthropology as one, which isn't terrible since I've got a lot of credits there already for some reason. I still needed one outside of the CAL so I decided on Philosophy, mainly because it was late to sign up for classes as it was, and PHL had a bunch that I could get into and be able to get my 12 credits. I figured, what's philosophy, just a bunch of squares thinking about shit and giving their opinions, sorta like I do on my blog, so it shouldn't be too hard right?

Well, I've always had this opinion about philosophy, that it was sorta a waste of time. It was people thinking about more or less irrelevant shit, and trying to convince other people that their way of thinking about it was more accurate or appropriate. As a man who's been based in the scientific method, I never saw any validity to philosophy. As far as science goes, I always thought that it was an unfair and wasteful use of otherwise good brain power, power that could be devoted to actually doing stuff. I mean there are ways to think about the world where accomplishments are made, where results are found.

Even before I started taking these philosophy classes, I had a little respect for the philosophers of old: Aristotle, Socrates, Plato etc. and I really had an open mind about philosophy. I mean, I tried to open it up on the first day of classes. Maybe I had been wrong, maybe this stuff was actually a valid pursuit of the mind. No, fuck that. It's not. Not only has it been shown to me that there is no greater way to waste a brain than to pursue philosophy, but also it's been shown that I don't need to respect those old fuckbags of yore who spent their time thinking. Sure, back then, 2500 years ago, they didn't have the advantage of technology and previous scientific and ethical inquiry, so maybe there was nothing else they could do but just think about it. Wrong, there were people even back then, like Pythagoras who, rather than saying "Hey maybe this is what's going on." he said "Oh, let's figure out whats going on by using what math we have." and bam, Pythagorean theorem! Results man, that's what I want and big man captain P proved that it was possible even waaay back then.

But my biggest beef is with the later philosophers; the guys we're dealing with in my Existentialism class. What a waste! Guys like Jean-Paul Sartre, Hegel, Kierkegaard and shit-for-brains like those. I have the advantage of going into this class without any previous formal philosophical background, so I can see this stuff that we're being fed with an untainted view. I'm listening to these words that my Italian-borne, French professor is spewing and thinking "What?! Seriously, is this what's being said?" My main problem isn't with the subject of what we're talking about, although I'm not too fond of that either. I'll get back to that. What I hate is how they talk about what they're talking about. Their words are so whispy that they're not really saying anything. These are some exact notes that I took down:

Kierkegaard presents his philosophy as a dialectical progression of existential stages. The first is the aesthetic which gives way to the ethical, which gives way to the religious.

What does that mean? "Gives way," are you kidding me? They've got ways of expressing stuff that could be expressed in a clear and concise manner (even though what they're expressing is neither clear nor concise) but they choose to do it in this philisophical stuff that they think sounds deep and well-thought-out.

Ok, so whatever, they can talk about it how they want. I'm sure someone could make the same arguments about how linguists talk. In fact, I'll make the argument for you. This is an excerpt from a book I'm reading about formal semantics.

The operations F2-F5 each take a CN as an argument and syncategorematically introduce a different determiner, combinging it with the CN to yield a T.

The difference, I would argue is that although, to the untrained reader, both the philosophical writing, and the linguistic writing are more or less unintelligible, the goals of each are drastically different. Philosophy is great for writing about what you think of some random thought, or some random aspect of the world, but little else. Linguistics has a goal, which is to understand the way that the human brain processes a very real and tangible (maybe) part of every day life: language.

Philosophers argue about what it means to exist, what it means to be ethical. Maybe it's useful but, I'll put it this way: when they come to a conclusion about how to exist the best way, how to be the most ethical, what's gonna happen? Nothing. Someone's gonna say, Ok, but how about this is more ethical? It's all based on their world-view. When Linguistics comes to a conclusion, and believe me it has come to a couple in it's day, we say "Oh shit! So that's what's happening when people have speech impediments, this is what's going on in someone's brain when they are diagnosed with aphasia, here's a way we can medically help them." It happens. If you don't believe me, look up an article in Neuroscience or Neurolinguistics about aphasia and see what sort of tangible (yes, actually tangible, you can see where language is being processed and, assuming you have the technology, you can see where memories are stored etc.). I dunno, I'm definitely biased here. But what's the use for arguing about something that has no definite answer? Whatever.

God is Cockblocking Me

It's been a while since I updated this mofo, but I got an idea today in church of all places, and recent events in the life of my friend provoked me to rethink my idea and I felt the urge to write it out. You see, my friend Tum is a dude. He told me tonight that he had a party and made out with some chick, and then she returned tonight and they did it some more. It's not very unusual, I don't think, but it's an event that seems to elude me at all costs.

I've got a lot of time to think in my life. In fact, I like to think of my brain as some sort of supercomputer (whether it is or not) because the amount of time I spend thinking leads me to believe that I can make like gillions of calculations all the time. Anyways that's not really relevant, except for the fact that my thinking all the time provides me with all sorts of plausible explanations as to why I can't find a fucking girl for myself. I'd wager that I spend a good 2/3rds of my time and thinking capacity on any given day on this subject. I'm always looking at chicks, like any other guy, thinking Hmm, she's cute, she could be the one.

But, I never come to any conclusions when I'm trying to figure out what I've been doing wrong. Believe me, I've gone through any idea I can think of, and while I can't be sure what it is, nothing I've thought of so far would rule me out as a candidate for a boyfriend. In fact, I think I'd make a pretty fucking kickass boyfriend. When I was in high school, my self-esteem was dropped. I came from a different school, didn't know many people and had some acne. Let's start with the first, I didn't know people, which meant more importantly (in my eyes) that people didn't know who I was, and if they had more exposure to me, they'd figure out how sweet I was. Next, the acne. I gave that a lot of credit for my troubles for a long time, until I realized that people with acne find some pretty fucking awesome people, despite it. Then in 10th grade, I was hit with some devastating news. Matt Rathbun jokingly made a comment about how big my nose was. I kid you not, I had never even thought about it. I always looked at myself from the front, and when I got home that day, I went to the mirror and sure enough, I've got a schnoz. Oh well, I'm more comfortable with that now, and I realized it's not as big a deal as I originally thought. So what else? Let's see. I dunno, I can be annoying I guess, I admit that my personality and humor can get a bit grating at time, but I also think that I'm generally in control of it and am at the very least, aware of when I'm getting annoying.

So, if you agree to discount these flaws, like I have, you can start to see why I'm confused with my current (and ongoing) predicament. At the risk of tooting my own horn, I'm gonna go ahead and list some things that I like about myself; some things that I think would be traits that a girl would like in a boyfriend. First of all, my sense of humor is my favorite thing about me. I think it makes me a fun person to be around, fun to talk to and overall is the makings for a good time to be had by all. Next, I'm fairly intelligent. I've always been smart, as long as I can remember, and I think it's the biggest contribution to my wit and humor. So far so good eh? I can go on! I think most importantly, I'm a nice fucking guy. I really am. I realized semi-recently that I rarely think of what I want first. I've always been a pleaser, doing what I think will make other people happy. People have told me that it's not fair to myself, and I've got to do for me more than I do. But I like the fact that I put other people first, and I like the fact that I'm not as important as everyone else. I think it's a good trait.

So what the fuck man!? I'm not as good looking as I'd like to be, but I've come to the conclusion that I can't use that as an excuse I mean, I wouldn't consider myself ugly. Uglier people than I have been much more successful at finding a person for them than I have. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm nice. Aren't those like the big three? Maybe it's the girls I'm going after. I mean, if I'm going after them, I obviously like them and think they're worth pursuing, but can I really have that bad of judgment? There are still very few examples of girls where I've been like "What the hell was I thinking?" The conclusion I came to in Church today, was that God was indeed cockblocking me. Yeah, you heard right. What might be otherwise good attempts at reasoble targets have been put to rest by none other than the big man Himself. I dunno if this is a substantial epiphany or just another attempt to rationalize something that I don't understand. There could be a couple explanations for this divine cockblock. One is that, shit, I just haven't found someone good enough for me. Another is that maybe I am supposed to become a priest, which has been something that has been tapping at me for years. But I dunno, I don't want to be a priest. I want a wife and kids and stuff, not to mention the fact that I've done some fairly unpriestly things in my day.

Whatever the answer is, I want a fucking girlfriend and I've been thus far deprived. Any ideas guys?

End of Semester Update

So, one more semester, one more year under my belt. This semester sucked. I had a Computer Science class that totally fucked me. I blame the professor actually, because I know I understand programming, and I know I could have gotten C++ if it was presented better. I'm pretty sure I failed that class, but then again, I only half-assed it for like the past 2 months. I would have put more effort in but I had another grad-level Linguistics class that took most of my time. Oh well, I probably got a 3.5 in that class, a 3.0 in another one and a 3.5 in my archaeology class. No, I didn't meet Indiana Jones, yes I'm pissed about it. Compared to last semester, I did much worse. For some reason, I don't give a shit though. I spent almost this entire semester with my mind on a particular girl, so in a way it kinda messed me up, but in every other way it was better, so I can't complain.

I don't have any plans for the summer yet, except that I want to DJ some gigs. If you need a pair of kickass DJs, let me know. We're ready. I need to get a job to start saving up for my rent next year because it's a little more than it was this year. Wait...what the fuck am I doing? You guys don't give a shit about any of this. I guess I'm just bored. Whatever, piss off.

My Tattoo

My neighbor, my roommate's girlfriend and I were talking about tattoos. My neighbor Brooke already has a tattoo and she wants more. My roommates girlfriend doesn't have any, so I don't need to say her name. I actually didn't need to say Brooke's because this is my blog, so it's about me. All about me in fact. I've joked about what tattoos I'd get before, stuff like the Death Star, perhaps Alderaan on my other shoulder getting shot by the super laser. Something like that. I do like Star Wars after all, but enough to get a tattoo? That's a big statement, and not one I'm sure I could back up my whole life. I was telling them, I don't know what tattoo I'd get because there's not anything that I think I'm going to like for ever. The only thing I could think of that I know I'm going to like forever is my dick, but that's already on my body. I don't think I need a picture of it somewhere else on my body. It's like, hey, check this out...I bet you can't guess where the real one is.

But then I got thinking, why not get a tattoo of something that'll be helpful...something that I could use as a reference. Maybe I could get the Bill of Rights tattooed somewhere, so if I get pulled over I could cite it. But there are other things that are more useful I think. Little friendly reminders that could be of use until I'm pretty old. One I think that I could use a lot would be "2 Minute Warning" on my forearm. Why this? Well, how many times have I been close to being done and need to let someone know?! "Alex! Hurry up, we've got to go!" BAM 2 Minute Warning, I'll be there in a minute. Brooke was talking about how tattoos are addictive: if you get one, you always want more. I think if I had the "2 Minute Warning" tattoo it would be most useful in conjunction with my next tattoo:

What the fuck is up with sports?

All right, sorry for the delay. I'm sitting here waiting for my class to start, and I figured, I have a half hour to burn (I should be reading but, meh). I hope my title grabbed you. I meant it too! Dude, fuck sports. What am I some sport-hating stuck up son of a bitch? I don't know. I just think our society places far too much importance on sports and athletics, and I suppose actors and movie stars etc.

Please, don't get me wrong, I enjoy an occasional sporting match on the television, or go out and watch a movie in the cinema theatre. And really, I don't even mind if you really like sports and say, watch all the games you can see on TV (why was I all in like 1920s mode earlier? wtf?), or even buy season tickets to your favorite team. By the way, when you write "wtf" do you need the question mark or is it implied? Sometimes, I'm saying wtf and I don't even mean it as a question. Like "You ate all my cheese?! Wtf?" Anyways, my real beef with sports these days is all the fucking attention it gets outside of the actual game. It just bugs me. I like watching baseball for example, but tell me why anyone needs to watch fucking 2 hours of commentary and recaps after the game you just watched!? Fuck that. Sports are not that important.

Also, I guess I just don't understand why someone from Michigan would root for Arizona when Arizona is playing New Mexico. That's a bullshit example, I know but the point is, sports teams have locations associated with them to bolster local pride (or national in the case of the Olympics). High schools have sports teams so people from Eaton Rapids have a reason to like Eaton Rapids and hate Charlotte. Will brought up a fair point, that sure, you've got relatives somewhere so you can root for that team. That's fine, but I refuse to believe that half of this fucking country has relatives in New York, and the other half has relatives in New England (That's not even a place! wtf?).

What really gets me is the fact that some people want the Supreme Court to get in and regulate for drugs. Fuck that! Like those dudes aren't busy. They've got better shit to do than keep an eye on some bulked up meat-heads (I'm jealous) sticking needles full of growth-goo in their asses. They want the legislature to pass laws for sports! Why not use the time to pass a marijuana law that benefits some people eh? Besides just wasting time, I really hate the idea of using our government to regulate our sports. This brings me to my final point.

Sports are around for ENTERTAINMENT! That's it. Those sweaty ass-holes run around pushing each other so I can sit on my couch, or in the stands and cheer. I don't think they should get paid nearly as much as they do, nor get nearly as much attention as they do. In the Roman times, entertainers were the lowest of the low. All their job was to do was to make me happy. Think about it. An athlete doesn't provide a product. An athlete doesn't teach me something, I don't get smarter. I could even argue (I'm not going to) that athletes don't even provide a service.

Weirdos

I think the vast majority of readers here, as many as 300 or so, have had a similar experience. Or maybe it's just me. I have a hard time paying attention in any non-linguistics class. I'm serious, so far, in all my linguistics classes, I've been able to pay attention and am generally quite interested in the subject matter. I guess I chose a good major for myself. But unfortunately, since Michigan State is a liberal arts university I can't just take classes from my major and be done with it. The university requires its graduates to be well versed in many blah blah blah. So I, and all the other students are forced to take classes like Interdisciplinary Arts and Humanities and Integrated Studies in Biology. I can't manage to pay attention in them. I'm only taking them because I have to and I'm only going to them because I'm concerned about my GPA for grad school. Well, I'm also taking a Programming class this year, it's not a university requirement but it's a prerequisite for Computational Linguistics.

I have trouble paying attention in that class too. Not because the subject matter is particularly boring, (it is, but it's not too bad) but because there are so many freaking weirdos in that class. It's in the College of Engineering, so I suppose it can be expected, there will be some nerds. But come on. The other week, I was sitting there, just trying to take it all in, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with these people. I don't understand how so many of them have such greasy hair. You've got to take a shower. That's the rule in this society, and everyone is required to follow the rules. I wont have any of this independence and free will. Anyways. There are two guys in particular. They're just fucked up looking dudes. Both with greasy hair. Anyways, while I was sitting there in disbelief, I decided to draw them. I'm not a great artist, but I'm actually pretty pleased with how accurate these pictures are. If you saw the guys, I think you'd agree these are pretty accurate profiles.

Lent

I was thinking just now, I should do a Blog post on what I'm "doing for Lent" this year. You all know what I'm talking about, someone around you has been like "Oh, I'm giving up this and that, and I'm not gonna do this either." And you say "Oh wow," or "Oh dang," but you're thinking "Dude, fuck you, I don't give a shit."

Well anyways, I'm gonna post what I'm giving up for Lent here, and I invite all the readers to either post what they're giving up for Lent here or to post what they were thinking, and think what they were saying.
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So I'm actually gonna start with my new year resolution. I just wanted to be honest with people (sorta, just for the little stuff) and to pray more, and so far I've been pretty good I think.

To keep with my resolution, I'm do give up cigarettes for Lent. That will be the easy one. I'm also going to give up fast food. I think this will be the hardest. It's not because I necessarily love fast food, and I'm giving it up because it's bad for me. It's more because it costs too much money that I don't need to spend.

WTF?

I was planning on updating this mofo later tonight, but recent events have urged me to write in here now, before I forget.

I'll start out slow, as most of my posts go. Give way too much background, unimportant shit, just to take up space that doesn't need to be filled. Steve got home and took a shit. It sorta bugs me when people go straight to the bathroom right when they get home. Sure you're thinking, "Well they were holding it until now." I don't care. Just because you just got home, doesn't mean you're entitled to the bathroom right away. I think there should be a buffer time, during which you assess the home-situation. Who's doing what, should I be doing this, or was someone else about to do it. Say I'm sitting on the couch, thinking all right, in 20 minutes I'm going to start cooking dinner (ha!) and then a roommate gets home and right away turns on the burner, uses the last pan and starts frying up whatever shit he wants. "But! uh!" Oh well. So Steve's here, dropping a deuce, and I swear that my roommates shit more frequently than any other randomly selected trio. Maybe I just think that because I shit so infrequently. But why am I telling you this? I'm telling you this because there was something different about the events postceding Steve's shit today. It stunk as always, and he went and hid in his room afterwards as always. He didn't turn on the vent-fan this time. He must have forgotten. No big deal really, I figured I was far enough away, it wouldn't effect me. But no, the stink crept, lurched slowly towards me. I got a little hint, turned around to make sure there wasn't shit near me, and then I got hit with a whiff. Once the smell overcame my laziness, I got up and turned the vent fan on.

When I stood up, I was dizzy. Again no biggie: lots of times when I stand up, I get a little dizzy. It could be a circulation problem or something, but it's usually short-lived...and to be honest I kinda think it's fun, so I've never had it checked out. This time though, I was holding my breath, because it stunk. Then something happened to me that has never happened to me before. But, I'm forced to skip ahead 45 seconds or so. My thought was "Why are all these beer cans on my face?" and then "Hey, when did I lay down here? I don't remember wanting to take a nap...in the middle of the floor, on top of these shoes...with this smashed beer case as my pillow." Then I looked around. "Whoa! I passed out." My next thought was "Cool!" That's basically the story. Oh oh wait no! So then I was sitting here for a bit, telling Courtney of my recent events and remembered I had to go put my laundry in the drier. So, you know, I stood up, put my coat on. Made sure I wasn't dizzy because I didn't want to pass out in the snow. Then, once I got outside I looked around and everything was clearer! I think the passing-out improved my vision by something like 5 feet or so, so hopefully I'm going to pass out again until I don't need glasses anymore.

I'll update tonight with the other thing that I was going to post about.

Willpower

I was sitting on the couch today...no, I think it was when I was peeing, but anyways I was thinking about the crazy willpower I have. I don't want to brag, I don't want to say God necessarily favors me, but I will go so far as to say, when I created I definitely rolled a high willpower, easily in the ballpark of a 16, maybe even a perfect 18. And who knows what racial modifiers I have, but I think my belt gives a +1.

Now, I don't have my character sheet, (I know, I know, this reference is getting worn out, especially since a majority of my readers, I'm going to venture a guess of 73%, aren't going to get it at all) but I think the proof of unearthly willpower is in my life pudding, so to speak. When thinking about writing this post, I hesitated because I didn't know if I could come up with some relevant examples, but it turns out I easily came up with a ton, if I've got my measurements right. Most inconveniently, it seems that some of my relevant examples have fled me. Oh! Shit, they're coming back. I think my willpower is fairly evident in my self-control. Whoa! I swear just as I was writing the word "self-control", Pink (the singer?) said "self-control".

We'll start with the example of girls, since it's the one I want to talk about the least. So far, my willpower has allowed me to get over girls, on more than two occasions, hopefully it's an attribute (more references) that will stick with me, because it's not the last time I'll probably need it. Anyways, that was boring.

I can also hold my breath for 2:20. That's a long time, I don't know when the last time you've timed how long you could hold your breath. Do it right now, right click your time in the lower-right and click Adjust Date/Time. Let me know if you get more than 30 seconds on the first try. It doesn't get harder on a linear scale, that shit gets exponentially harder (maybe .5x^2) as the time goes on. 2:20 is a long time. I did it after some practice and building up in perhaps the most boring class of all time. I spent the whole semester hating ISS 315: Globalization until near the end when our professor (Jean Kayitsinga), a Rwandan told us that his whole family was killed in the Genocide. Then I felt like a dick. Anyways, it was still boring. I perfected my breath-holding technique with minutes upon minutes of intense training, mixing methods I developed and Buddhist meditation practices. I couldn't have done it without the constant taunting of my willpower (taunting is the best way it effects me I believe): "Fuck you, hold your fucking breath you piece of shit. No, I know what you're thinking, I'm in your brain, right next to the part that tells you to breathe, I'll kill this mother fucker if you exhale right now." My willpower has a very strong personality.

More impressive evidence of my willpower, and the willpower of Catholics around the world is Lent. I know that more than just Catholics "do Lent" which I have to disagree with. There's more to Lent than giving up stuff, it's sorta how I feel about non-Christians celebrating Christmas. I think it's bunk. Sure, it's good --even necessary-- for the economy, but I still feel like non-Christians are reaping the benefits of Christians work as being Christians. It's not all presents for the rest of us, we've got to be all good and shit, and help others and whatnot. But, the goal of this blog isn't to be all preachy. In fact I want to avoid talking about religion if possible. It's a large part of my life, but other people talk about religion enough that I don't have to. Anyways, Lent, (I'm just talking about the giving-stuff-up part, not the other religious observances that co-occur with it.) is a testament to the willpower of Catholics everywhere who can successfully give something up for the full 46 days (look it up. Sundays count). For everyone who's tried, you know! it's tough. Oh man, I want to eat that candy bar. Give me that milkshake, fuck my sacrifices. No though, people succeed. I have, you have, your mom has (burn?). Again, not to brag, but last year for Lent, I made a huge sacrifice. I gave up masturbation. That's right, no self-servicing for 46 days. Imagine it! I don't even have to, I can remember. It's hard, but damn, a natural 18 +1 made it much easier and much more possible. That's what a +3 or 4 modifier on all saving throws? So cool, I can do that.

Crap, I had this plan to give my four examples in that certain order, writing more and more about each example, but I didn't expect to write so much about Lent. Let's just move on. This last one, I'm the most proud of. It's of least significant use to me, has no practical applications, doesn't really impress other people but still I think it's the best proof of my Force-like willpower. I mean really: Force-like. If I were a Jedi, my best power would be Mind Trick or Force Persuasion, and I'd be most resistant to those attacks from a Sith or other dark Jedi. The clearest evidence of my willpower is the fact that I can will away the hiccups. You read that right. Alarmingly amazing, I know! One day, about a year ago, I had the hiccups. Everyone's had them, annoying to you, annoying to others, and let's face it, sometimes painful! I know you've had the hiccups for so long, or for so hard that it eventually hurts. These hiccups sucked. I think I was in the car. I had them for a good 5 minutes or so and I was getting fed up. I think I get that from my dad. He's the only person I know that will get literally angry when he sneezes more than 3 times. "Achoo! ugh, Achoo! (the second one is always higher pitched for some reason) ... [pause] Achoo! ... Achoo! God Dammit!" "Dad, relax, it's just sneezing." So these hiccups were getting on my nerves. I said, no fuck that. I'm sick of these hiccups. We've all heard the common remedies: hold your breath, drink a glass of water, do both at the same time, swallow a fuckload, hang up-side down (that might not be one). No way man! I'm not going to make a fool of myself. So I was like "Wait, I'm hardkorps, I'm in control of my body, it does what I tell it (I'd make a good Saiva Hindu)" So I decided I could will away my hiccups. I did. It takes concentration, but I can definitely do it. I still get to breathe (not that I have to, at least not for like 2 minutes), I don't have to drink some bullshit water or anything, I just gotta take control. At first I thought it was a fluke. Ok, maybe those hiccups just went away. So the next time, I tried it again. I was in the car again. Maybe it has to do with being in a car; the combination or something. But no, I've been consistently able to will away my hiccups ever since I learned that I could. It takes about a minute or less. I think this is pretty sweet, but really, again, the only thing this would be useful for, besides getting rid of an annoyance, is starting conversations. "Hey baby, guess what. I can will away the hiccups." Oh yeah, never mind (whoa, that's supposed to be two words), I'm not trying to meet girls anymore.

All right, time for bed.

Haircut

Just after writing in my last post that my traditional hair-cut posts were stupid, here I am one day later about to tell you about my most recent visit to Nogginz. Still a stupid name for a place, I've gone enough now that I'm comfortable (somewhat) there, and now I definitely prefer it over something new like Douglas J or the Campus Barber or that one place in the Union for black people (what a funny story that was).

I'll start out by saying...actually no, I'll go back earlier. Between my two classes today (I had a break from 2:00 to 3:00pm), I went to get my hair cut. I biked over to Nogginz from McDonnell Hall and by the time I got there (about 1:50, since I got out of class early) my fingers were fucking freezing. I decided, for some reason, to not wear gloves today. Well, actually the specific reason is because I don't like the way they fit in my pockets when I'm not wearing them: it makes me look fat. So, instead I moronically choose to not wear gloves. A mistake I will not soon duplicate. I got to Nogginz and it looked full as shit, so I decided I'd turn around and maybe get something to eat. I don't know why it's so embarrassing for me to turn around, I think other people can relate though. Have you ever been walking, and remember you had to go somewhere else and you just have to turn in your tracks and double back (thanks Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade for introducing me to that productive line)? Doubling back is awkward. For something that seems so easy, and I mean, physically it is, it takes a lot of thought and consideration. When I remember I have to turn around, that's not when I do it. Once I remember, the first thought in my head is "Ok, Alex, you've got to go another way, how are you going to pull this one off? Is there a drinking fountain you could stop at? No. Ok, gotta pull a loop, how big? Not too big of course, that would look goofy, I can't do an about face either, that would look stupid. Oh yeah! I'll pretend like I forgot something, look in my backpack really quick and turn around." I don't know why I'm so concerned with what people are thinking as I turn around. Most people probably don't notice, and no one's going to laugh. These aren't people I know. Anyways, that side-track doesn't really apply today since I was on a bike. I saw the people at Nogginz and was like, no fuck that, and I rode past, slammed on my back break, put my foot on the ground and whipped around. It was perhaps the most bad-ass thing an 8th grader could do on his new BMX bike. Ok, so I just turned around.

Anyways, I got some food at Pita Pit, and I'm not gay or anything, but those guys that work there were just so nice. I really felt welcome. Anyways, got the Chicken Caesar and a large drink, which if you look on the wall by the soda fountain is apparently Sparty's choice. I feel school spiritous. Went to class, yada yada yada. Then went to get my hair cut for realz yo.

I went in, and to my immediate surprise, decent music was playing. Some sort of rock, I didn't know what but it sounded like it could have been a Whitesnake or something of that flavor. Also, to my surprise, on top of the chicks that usually work there, a guy was cutting hair. A self-described barber! Oh sweet gift from heaven. Actually, the guy wasn't literally on top of the other girls. I admit, I would have been pretty excited to walk into a porno, especially one with a greater than 1:1 girl to guy ratio. Talk about gift from heaven. Naw, this dude was cutting hair. And he finishes and it always alarms be how quickly I can hate someone I've never met. But there was this ugly bitch there who was there before me, and I though, "That skank! she's gonna get the barber while I gotta deal with some girl who is hard to relate to!" He rings the previous dude up and looks at the list. To my relief, he tells the girl that a girl will be up to do her shit soon; she doesn't want a barber cutting her hair. Damn right she doesn't. I'd already made the mistake in there of calling a stylist a barber, so it was good that I was going to get a barber.

He was a nice guy, his hand kinda smelled like cigarettes smoked a couple days ago and pickles, perhaps gherkins. It wasn't that good, but he actually made small talk back with me, about stuff I cared about. Like when the last time I got a haircut was, and not if I liked the most recent Justin Timberlake song (I do!!! (kidding)). He cut my hair well, and quickly, and seemed to know how I wanted it, even though I told him almost the opposite of what I actually wanted. I said I wanted a "1" with the clippers because I was under the impression that clippers worked the same as hyperdrives in Star Wars, the lower the number the better. I in fact wanted a "6," the longest of the options for cutting. All in all it turned out well.

So besides this haircut, the big thing in my life has been the decision to quit focusing on girls. Girls have been a huge part of my life for a long time and so far it seems to have gotten me nowhere. It was actually Courtney's idea that I take a break and maybe let girls come to me. I'm skeptical. Guys usually pursue, but I'll give it a go since I'm not about denying change. Another example of this is that the barber suggested I part my hair to the right. I never have before, and I said "Sure, I'll give it a go." So I'm doing that now too. I believe in sticking with things that I believe in, but I strongly dislike getting into ruts about things that don't matter, like which way I part my hair and whether or not I let girls come to me.

I'll keep you updated on how those things work. Also, why do I use so many parentheses?

I'm Starting a Blog

I wonder how many blogs have the first post start with something like "I know I know, just what the internet needs, one more person's opinion." Does this count as that? I don't really think so, since I'm talking about people doing it, not really doing it myself. But perhaps in admitting that it's done, I'm --in a way-- doing it myself. Fuck that.

Anyways, yeah I'm making a blog. I had a Live Journal, but there's something I didn't like about it. Maybe it's the friends. Also, what's live about it? It's just a journal. Plus, I don't update it that much: only when I get hair cuts, which, let's face it, is a stupid tradition. Also, I figured I'd come back to Blogger (I used to have one back in the day) because Google now owns it, so it must be good. Another reason for the switch is to sort of go along with the change in tone in the types of things I post. My LiveJournal (I don't know if there's a space or not) posts tended to be about the little happenings in my life, bullshit that went on and were generally whiny. I want to do something different. I want to take events in my life, but maybe analyze them more, not necessarily philosophical, and not necessarily psychological, but more philosophical mindset... Rather than just reflect on the happenings, I want to really "think them out" here. "Thinking something out" that's a skill I gained last semester. It took 4 skill points that I saved up over 3 levels (I got two points on the last one). Thinking something out is hard. Don't imagine for a second that it's not. I mean, to think about something, ok cool, no biggie, like just run it through your head. But to really think something out, you gotta fucking think. You're exhausting your neuronic (that's a word) capabilities on a single "something". I did it a couple times last semester for semantics. That shit is hard but fun.

I imagine that a lot of you, perhaps 50 or 60, read the word philosophical and thought "Great just what the internet needs, one more persons philosophy." Actually you have a good point, philosophers are usually annoying. Well, this Blog wont be 100% philosophical reflection bullshit. There are gonna be rants, I'm sure. There's going to be swearing, and vulgarity. I'm using this mother-fucker to take up time that I'm gaining by the decision to give up on going after babes. I'm just gonna pretend (it's the best I can really do) to not care and see if maybe some chicks come to me. Doubtful? I wouldn't doubt that it's doubtful. But it has been pointed out to me that I suck at pursuit, so I might as well try something new and give waiting a try. I mean, it's still cool, I picture it as like changing from a stalking large jungle cat such as a jaguar or panther to an animal that just waits for it's prey, like an ant lion or various species of snake. It's still hardcore, right? Dear God I hope so.

I should really try to keep this sombitch short so people will actually read it. That's it for now.